Berlin Beauty Haul

Sorry I haven’t posted in so long. It’s been crazy but I’m now settled in back at uni and all unpacked and will hopefully be getting back into posting regularly.

I have finally got around to taking pictures of the make-up I got whilst I was in Berlin and I will do another haul post of non beauty items I got which will include a few things I got before going away as well.

So here’s what I got in Germany. I went a little bit eyeliner crazy.

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essence 02 All you need is Red, €2.25

Manhattan 34N Perfect Creamy and Care, €3.89

Kiko Make Up Milano Luscious cream lipstick 514 Magenta, €6.90

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 p2 quick dry spray,

p2 sand style polish in 020 lovesome €1.95

essence sparkle sand effect in 165 here’s my number, €1.55

essence colour & go in 128 let’s get lost, €1.55

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p2 feel good mineral compact powder 020 ivory shell, €3.25

ebelin stippling brush, €3.95

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p2 eyebrow express pen 031 charming brunette, €1.95

p2 Eye Q waterproof eyeshadow pen 010 deep space €2.45

Kiko make up milano eyetech look eyeshadow 102 metallic rich gold, €5.90

p2 perfect look kajal waterproof 010 Black, €3.95

p2 perfect look kajal waterproof 090 turquoise, €3.95

p2 perfect look kajal waterproof 170 violet, €3.95

essence extra long lasting eyeliner pen, €2.45

p2 fantastic chrome kajal 010 Gold amber, €2.75

p2 fantastic chrome kajal 030 green emerald, €2.75

essence long lasting eye pencil 02 hot chocolate, €2.45

 I will probably do reviews on some of these soon, after I’ve finally got round to trying them out. Any requests of certain reviews let me know.

Beth…x

Nails for the Week

Once again late. I will get better at this I promise. So this week I decided to embrace the darker colours as my nails have been pretty bright all summer. I went for Barry M vivid purple which is a dark purple with a hint of glitter. You can only see the shimmer to it in the light.  It did go a bit streaky when I did it but I was doing it in a rush and you could only see if you looked really closely. I re did it with a white base and it made the purple pop more but the shimmer didn’t stand out as much. I love this colour and will definitely be wearing this a lot in the autumn/winter period.

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What colours have you been wearing?

Beth…x

Nails for the Week

Late again, I know. I’m not very good at remembering to schedule these posts. Anyway here’s what’s been on my nails this week. I tried out one of the new polishes I got whilst I was in Berlin. I will put up a haul post as soon as I get round to photographing everything. This week I wore essence colour & go in 128 let’s get lost. Its a gorgeous dark greeny blue. I did find it chipped quite quickly but I love the colour. It has a wide brush making it easy to paint each nail with one sweep and there was good coverage in one coat but I did 2. I think I’ll be wearing this a lot now that its colder.

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Beth…x

Main Chronic Illness posts moved

Due to the massive response I have received from my recent posts I have decided to start my main chronic illness blog back up again. There will still be the occasional chronic illness/disability awareness post on this blog but if you want to read more posts like the last three and less beauty related posts then you can follow my Bendy Beth blog which I will use to talk about disability issues more often.

Hope to see some of you over there

Beth…x

Some Wheelchair Users Can Walk

As part of invisible awareness week I would like to raise awareness to wheelchair users with an invisible illness and point out some of the things we come across. I apologize if this comes across as a bit ranty.

One of the things that annoys me the most about having an invisible illness is strangers coming up to me and telling me that I don’t need my wheelchair because they saw me stand up or they saw me walk to my chair from the car. I have been called a fraud and told I’m faking it too many times to count just because I’m not paralysed.

SOME WHEELCHAIR USERS CAN WALK.

It’s not that difficult to get your head around. Some people use them because it’s dangerous for them to walk because they pass out or collapse, others use it because walking is painful and causes dislocations (me for example). There are many reasons why a person uses a chair but the biggest thing is, if you do not know this person then why they use a chair is none of your business.

Also if you see someone park in a disabled parking space and they display a blue badge but get out the car and look healthy and walk in DO NOT question them. If they are displaying a disabled parking badge then they are entitled to use that space. End of. You don’t know how painful it is for that person to walk. You don’t know what invisible illnesses they are suffering from. I was harassed by a man who didn’t think I needed my badge and shouldn’t be parked in that space and he waited for me to come out of the shop to tell me so. It was pretty intimidating and no one should have to go through that.

I wouldn’t go up to a random person and ask them personal questions so why does it become supposedly acceptable when that person has mobility equipment.

I constantly get asked

“Were you in an accident?”

“What happened?”

“Why do you need a wheelchair”

by people I have never seen before and will never see again.

Another thing, young people get illnesses too. Young people may need to use a wheelchair. It is not something you suddenly are entitled to when you hit an old age.

Some old people get so offended when they see me in my chair like I haven’t earned the right to use one because I haven’t reached a certain age. I’m forever getting snide comments about how I’m too young to have a wheelchair. I didn’t choose to need one and I’m pretty sure with all my pain I have earned the right to use one.

And lastly pretty people can be disabled too. The amount of people I know including myself that have been told we are to pretty to need a wheelchair is ridiculous. What do the two things have to do with each other? It’s nice to know people think I’m pretty but I didn’t realise only unattractive people could be disabled.

 So next time you see someone in a wheelchair and you want to make small talk, talk about the weather or something like you would with every other person not about what’s wrong with them.

Beth…x

30 Things About My Invisible Illness You May Not Know

1. The illness I live with is:

– Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (EDS)

– Fibromyalgia (Fibro)

– Chronic Costochondritis (Costo)

– Raynauds Phenomenon

– Probable Gastro oesophageal reflux disease (GERD)

– And I also have Gallstones at the moment

2. I was diagnosed with it in the year:

EDS – When I was 10

Fibro – Last year

Costo – This year

Raynauds – A few years ago

GERD – In the process of diagnosis

Gallstones – Last month

3. But I had symptoms since:

I was born. I was always complaining of pain as a child but no one knew why. Doctors kept telling me I had having growing pains, bone cancer, leukaemia, just wanted attention, my mum had munchausen by proxy and was making me ill and several others before I was finally diagnosed.

4. The biggest adjustment I’ve had to make is:

Learning that I cant do as much as others and that resting isn’t me being lazy. I struggle to know that I can’t do as much as I would like because my body just can’t keep up. I’m always over doing it and I suck at pacing.

5. Most people assume:

That there is nothing wrong with me or that it’s not as painful as it is as I look healthy, still go to uni and try to lead as normal a life as possible

6. The hardest part about mornings are:

Everything. Waking up, moving, getting out of bed, getting dressed. It doesn’t sound like much but it is so exhausting. Healthy people don’t understand why I find mornings so hard but all that energy needed when you’ve only managed a few hours of actual sleep is really difficult.

7. My favorite medical TV show is:

Grey’s anatomy.

8. A gadget I couldn’t live without is:

My iPad. I can keep in contact with friends when I’m having a bad day and can’t get out of bed and the chronic illness community is amazing and always there to offer support and virtual hugs. Its also something to play silly games or watch films on when I can’t concentrate on anything else and is lighter than my laptop.

9. The hardest part about nights are:

The insomnia. Not being able to sleep even though you are too exhausted to move is so hard. Knowing that you have to get up & function in a few hours and you still haven’t had any sleep is horrific. Also not being able to get to sleep because you can’t find a comfortable pain less position to sleep in is horrible.

10. Each day I take __ pills & vitamins. (No comments, please)

18 pills and 0 vitamins

11. Regarding alternative treatments I:

have tried acupuncture and loved it. I really want to find somewhere to get it again.

12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose:

Invisible because even though its hard when people to struggle to understand, some days I can pretend to be healthy.

13. Regarding working and career:

I would love to be a Dr but I’m really not sure whether that will ever happen. I am currently in my 3rd yr studying Biomedical Science but I’m doing it part time so it will take 2 years

14. People would be surprised to know:

That I can’t remember the last day I had where at least one of my body parts didn’t hurt

15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been:

Having to change my dreams.

16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was:

Get a B in 3 A levels and go onto uni.

17. The commercials about my illness:

There aren’t any,

18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is:

Not really since I was diagnosed by since my health declined, going for a walk where I actually get to walk instead of use my chair and riding a bike. I used to love bike rides.

19. It was really hard to have to give up:

My horse. He was my baby and I miss him everyday. I would love to own another one

20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is:

Blogging and I’m trying to take up photography.

21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would:

Probably go on a day out with my family where they don’t have to go home early because I’m ill or spend their day worrying about whether Im okay.

22. My illness has taught me:

To treasure the small things, not take your body for granted and that my family are the best in the world

23. Want to know a secret? One thing people say that gets under my skin is:

“You’re too young to need that wheelchair”

Strangers coming up to me and bluntly saying “Were you in an accident, what happened? what’s wrong with you?”

“But you look so healthy”

Talk to me like I’m a child or deaf. I know that’s more than one but I couldn’t decide.

24. But I love it when people:

Treat me like the adult I am and include me even when I make things more complicated by being in a chair

25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is:

“Life’s not about waiting for the storm to pass it’s about learning to dance in the rain”

26. When someone is diagnosed I’d like to tell them:

There is an amazing community online where you can make many awesome friends

You know your body best and Drs aren’t always right so get a second or third opinion if you think there is something extra

Drs tend to try and pin everything on EDS even when there is quite often secondary problems

Don’t be too stubborn you could do yourself damage

Having a day to rest and do nothing is not being lazy it’s essential to your health

Buy lots of cushions, ice packs, hot water bottles

A shower seat is always a good idea

Don’t be too proud to accept help

27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is:

How judgemental people can be but on the other had it also showed me that there are still amazing friendly helpful people out there.

28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn’t feeling well was:

Cancel a night out to stay in and watch a film in bed instead, send me a teddy bear to cheer me up and so many more as I have amazing friends and family/

29. I’m involved with Invisible Illness Week because:

More people need to know that just because a person looks fine doesn’t mean they cant be in excruciating pain and need help. They are not lazy or making it up.

30. The fact that you read this list makes me feel:

So happy. Please help raise awareness by spreading it or making your own.

Beth…x

Invisible Illness Awareness Week

This week is invisible illness awareness week so there will be a few posts up that aren’t beauty related and are more about raising awareness and then some will incorporate beauty into them, maybe.

I have a few invisible illnesses Ehlers danlos syndrome being the main problem causing one.  I also have fibromyalgia, chronic costochondritis, Raynauds phenomenon, and the doctors think I probably have Gastro oesophageal reflux disease. I may do another post on some of these later in the week. Maybe if you want to leave a comment if you’re particularly interested in one.

Invisible illnesses are hard to cope with as everyone thinks you are healthy as it doesn’t look like there is anything wrong with you. Trying to explain that the fatigue is so heavy moving is difficult, Brain fog comes in and makes coming up with a sentence difficult. Trying to explain that you are in so much pain you want to scream is hard when you look like a healthy 20 year old.

There are so many invisible symptoms

– joint pain

– muscle pain

– nerve pain

– numbness

– tingling

– stinging

– fatigue

Brain fog

– medication side effects

– digestive issues

– subluxations

– nausea

– dizziness

– anxiety

– depression

– insomnia

I could go on. Imagine all of these added together every day. You know how terrible you feel when you have the flu and you don’t move from your bed, now imagine that every day of your life. You cant stay in bed every day. There are things to be done. We have to still try and function at an acceptable level.

To be told by people that we are lazy at there is nothing wrong with us makes us feel terrible. Some days I go as far as to think well maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe I am exaggerating. Then I think NO. Healthy people don’t have to put their joints back into place in the morning because they dislocated in their sleep and then get up and get dressed & go to work. Healthy people don’t have to force food down when the feel so nauseous even water seems like too much but they need to take pain meds so they can get on with the day. Healthy people don’t have to lie down on the floor in the supermarket to prevent themselves passing out or to put back a subluxed hip.

I want people to know that invisible illnesses do exist. We are out there and we may look like your average healthy person but under all that is a barely functioning body that we have to use all our strength to fight to last another day without falling apart. My body is held together with will power, medication and pure stubbornness and a few splints & supports.

Don’t judge a book by it”s cover.

I hope all my invisible illness fighters are as well as you can be & your bodies are behaving and know that there are people out there that believe you.

Thank you for reading and I hope you can help spread awareness.

Beth…x